Am I making the right decision?
I've received a good 20 odd messages from people asking if I was okay and if I was serious about leaving photography? Thank you all for such kind words and worrying about me, Yes I'm good and whether I'm leaving photography is now up in the air. It's caused some serious doubt whether this is a good idea, mainly because of a chat with my good old mate Chevy Rough. I think it's important I list out the reasons why I am thinking of leaving.
- Unstable income
- Constantly fighting for clients
- Earning as a photographer is very personal, something that affects my mental health.
- Doubt that I'm good enough.
These are the four main reasons why I thought about chucking the towel in.
It’s weird because it kinda feels like I’m ending a relationship, breaking up with a girlfriend so to speak. Which when you’re in a long term relationship and maybe things are not working out and you start to question whether it’s worth saving and if you think is, the next question is. Have I been working as hard as possible or have I truly been honest with the amount of work I’m putting in?
And that brings me to where I am now, after a few chats with several different friends. I asked myself the same question. "Have I truly been working as hard for this as I could have?" and the simple answer is NO.
Being a freelancer comes with many perks, a lot that friends who work the regular 9to5 are jealous of but some of these can be the biggest downfall to as well. The idea of not having a boss looking over your shoulder means you can start and end work when you wish. You don't have to put a suit on (or even get dressed) and that lunch break can easily be two hours instead of one. While this is all great if you're being proactive, I really wasn't.
I'd become lazy and task avoided everything that stopped me from being a professional and gave me an easier day.
People say, It's better to have tried and failed. Than to have never tried at all. I had been saying it for the last 5 years like I was pretending to get the work in.
SO now I'm at this crossroad of do I give it one last push and by push, I mean working bloody hard every single day or do I give in and become something I don't love? Well, between you and me, I think that's a no brainer.
I need to find a way of holding myself accountable for what I do and what I get done. Putting everything on show and that way people who are interested will be my witnesses that I'm trying to get myself secure and earning a living as a photographer. The best way I have seen this is a project called FREE65. It's my idea and in the next blog post on Sunday evening I will explain how it's going to work.
This idea is going to make sure I post as much as possible about what I'm getting done and using social media to make a record of how hard and how often I'm getting work done.
See you all on Sunday.
Much love, as always.