Portrait photographer in London


Let's talk about yesterday.

So yesterday was my first down day. I got up, got to a coffee shop for 8.30am and sat down to crack into the day. Great! I thought I was getting into a flow 8.30am for coffee, write a blog post, post a photo to Instagram and start on the emails. Everything was going great until I said yes to that second 3 shot latte, something that always cripples me is too much caffeine. Now I love coffee, I gave up alcohol and caffeine in the summer last year and I missed Coffee more than the booze.

Too much coffee has the opposite effect on me, it makes me really lethargic and slow. It's like my body has an overload and stops working.  

This week had been about sending a ton of emails to potential new clients, I have worked out a system that gives me access to email addresses of people who work for agencies that I want to work with. This week had started well, with plenty of emails being sent. I think I had done a good 150 emails. 

So yesterday when I got home, on a small buzz from the caffeine overload. I got into my room, to my desk and started to load the work up and I just couldn't get started. This started to dig into me, I was getting wound up that I couldn't do it. I was in theory beating myself up. 

This is probably not helped with suffering with depression, I started to doubt myself and dug in deeper into my own head. Anyone with depression will know exactly what I'm talking about, it's a bloody horrible place to be. 

When I'm low, two things happen. I get into bed and watch crap TV while surfing Facebook video's, it’s a pure attempt to hide away from the world. The other is I eat crap! Yesterday I had two bacon bagels, a packet of Jaffa cakes and for dinner a nice healthy meal from the local chicken shop. Two wraps and two portions of chips. 

The day had truly beaten me. 

The idea of this project FREE65 is to push myself to work harder everyday, to work as hard as I would if I had a boss hanging over my shoulder. To treat being a freelancer like everyone treats their 9-5s, getting up and doing itBut today, is a new day and I'm up and I'm working in the same coffee shop this time drinking a Roobios tea.

It does feel kind of good to be writing yesterday out, I know I'm going to get these days, so writing them out helps me myself rationalise with myself. So I suppose today's blog post is more about me than you! 

Much love, as always


Be kind